give your kids time explain to them why he makes you happy tell them he makes you happy dont just remarry to get married your kids should be happy for you but your kids come first make sure your boyfriend is treating your kids and you rightTo all children of divorce-what was your experience when parent remarries? What were your feelings for step?
I personally think that all parents should hold off on remarriage (or co-habitative relationships) for a few years after a divorce. I think that children need time to adjust to the new arrangements and deserve some stability after such a chaotic event in their lives. Rushing into another marriage so soon isn't necessarily the smartest move for you either, it takes time to really see a persons character and any faults that they may have. Dating allows you to see how things unfold in a much more controlled manner, which is better for you and your children.
My parents divorced when I was only 11. It took my mother 5 years before she started dating. So I was okay with it by then. My father started dating weeks after the separation period. Getting remarried is more about you. Every kid is different. If you were the one that broke up the marriage, they might resent your new spouse (for not being their original father/mother). If not, then it should be okay. Uncomfortable at first, but okay in the long run.
Well, it sucks. It did for me anyway. Unless your kids really like the guy that you are with, it will take a while to adjust. Most kids (especially depending on their age) don't like anyone new. So approach all this with caution, and expect some resentment simply because it doesn't seem normal to them at first.
Just listen to your kids and what they have to say about it. Let them know you love them, but want adult companionship with another man. They may not like it, but at least you are talking about it. My parents didn't do that with us.
I was about 5 when they got together. I really liked him.
There were 3 of us--he used to take us to macdonalds and buy us WHATEVER we wanted and he brought us popcorn and soda's from his store on saturday nights to watch late night scary movies.
We felt safer with him there...he was really great...he died of cancer after we were all grown up.
He helped shape the kind of man I allow to be in my life today and I'm very grateful to him for giving us a better life (my real dad was abusive).
No comments:
Post a Comment