All other options have been exhausted, time outs didn't work, taking away priviliges didn't work, talking to them didn't work so what else is there to do? Spanking is not child abuse, it is a form of discipline, take the military for example. If a soldier is out of line, many times they punish him by making him do physical things, such as push ups. A spank is nothing more than push ups to a soldier, it is a form of discipline that is not abuse or mistreatment. This new generation of kids is growing to be disrespectful and destructive because parents don't take responsibility and the ones that do are acused of child abuse for a simple spank and have to live through an ordeal of having their children taken away. So what is the solution?Are you a bad parent if you decide to spank your child as a form of discipline?
Why do we listen to ';educators'; ';psychologist'; and the like? Parents are who they are, have been for several 10-thousands of years. Children understand full well why a normally loving mommy is hopping mad. They see the crash coming. It is part of their normal growing up, a necessary test of wills.
Most will agree: abuse is REALLY bad. So this is not the subject. Some of my successful (and fondly remembered) kindergarten teachers and ';educators'; had no degrees, no formal education, and some had a short fuse. Other idiots on the other hand, who found it necessary to lecture/ interfere with the upbringing of our children and grandchildren, in the name of a Psychology Degree, were just that ';idiots';.
I believe that 90% of parents know exactly how to effectively 'discipline' a pest. And 95% really do love their children. So, leave normal parents alone, let them do what they do, what their parents, grand parents, and ancestors have done for centuries.
Who is so conceited to believe the world has found a fundamentally NEW, in fact the ONLY way to bring up a small child? This, somewhere around 1968, at Harvard and UC Berkeley.Are you a bad parent if you decide to spank your child as a form of discipline?
whatever you do, do not spank our of anger. if you need to spank, cool off, and then when you are calm, take your child and spank on the butt. then you will be respected a heck of alot more from your child and society by spanking with care. good luck!
I don't believe spanking your child makes you a bad parent. I don't believe in spanking for every bad thing a child does, but as a last resort or for something very serious (i.e. they try to run or do run out in the street, try to grab a sharp knife etc).
Some children don't listen to anything other than a spanking. As long as you aren't bruising or spanking other places other than their rump, I don't see the problem.
I wouldn't say its a bad thing to do it's just a way of disciplining.
Everyone has their own methods.
Personally I do not spank my children I have a method where I notice and praise them for all their good behaviour and ignore their bad behaviour unless it is causing harm to themselves, others or objets in which case I would tell them to stop and explain why, and if they didnt listen I would put them in time out to hink anbout it, or for an older child removing privilages such as watching tv or playing out works well.
Each to their own I say..
Although I do think that if you are spanking your child as a punishment for soing something bad then they might think it is alright to hit you or someone else for doing something they dont like....
i spank my children, its how sever you spank them if i child abuse.
Spank your kids but don't go over board with it. Because talking don't always help. Discipline is the best thing to do and it'll help your child in the future.
if you are consistent with discipline, it works, and it is not the same, have your child do push ups then, if you think it's the same, we don't spank criminals do we?
We have 4 children, ranging in ages from 9 all the way to 6 months. We have never used any sort of physical discipline at all on any of our children. From the time they could understand directions, we have given all our children several jobs around the house. I think this makes them feel a part of the big picture. My oldest folds laundry, helps cook dinner, cleans, dusts, etc.. Our 2 year old picks up toys, helps put clothes into the dryer, puts clothes away in the drawer, etc... No, they don't always do it the way I would, but the point is, it teaches them responsibility. When our children have tested their bounderies and made bad choices, they receive a negative consequence directly related to their action. For example, if I ask my 5 year old to clean her room so we can go to the park, and she procrastinates, well then she doesn't get to go to the park. We also take privileges away. Our children are respectful and are expected to say ';yes M'am'; and ';yes sir'; to all adults. They are taught that their family is first before friends. We limit their TV to only being allowed to view it after age 3, and only 1 hour total per day of PBS. One only needs to turn on any of those other channels and wonder why children are so disrespectful! I believe that children who are disrespectful towards their parents do so because they were not taught at a very young age that its not acceptable. Unfortunately, I also think a lot of children are craving attention from their parents that maybe they are not getting enough of. Our children are not perfect, nor would we want them to be. But we can go out anywhere and know they are well-behaved. They receive compliments all the time and when this happens, I always reward them with something small such as extra time to stay up, etc... The point is, everyone can raise their children the way they chose. But we all have consequences for our actions as well and I feel that if you chose physical discipline to punish children instead of TEACHING them as a baby what is expected in your home, then you will also have to deal with what happens later on when the child resents the parents or becomes more and more sneaky to get away with something.
I think if you will watch the Nanny show you will learn how to do time outs properly and other techniques so that spanking won't be necessary! Consistancy is the key. I've learned that you don't need to spank or yell by watching the show! I applaud you for making your child mind, but it would be better for you both if you didn't have to spank. Good Luck with it!
I am from a very traditional African family so spanking was the way I was disciplined. I never got hurt by my parents neither did I feel mistreated in any way. It was as simple as I do something stupid and I get punished for it. Later, my mother tried all sorts of other punishments e.g. time-outs and withholding allowances and no tv for my younger brothers but nothing ever worked as well as a good old-fashioned spanking and in the end she always went back to it. I feel I am a better person for it, especially because I am the hard-headed kind. I don't hate or resent my mother for spanking me, in fact, it makes me love her even more that she moulded my character from an early age and that she did what she had to do to make me the responsible person I am today. So don't feel bad for doing it, but at the same time, know when enough spanking is enough, you don't want to go overboard into the cruel and unusual punishment territory and some things don't warrant a complete spanking, just a good pinch of the ears or cheeks. And never hit the child's head. But I think you are a great parent if you discipline your child and not let them run wild like the mollycoddled kids of these days.
BTW, I turned out ok, I am in an Ivy League school and I speak 9 languages and I never ever lie. And I love my mommy :-)
no, you're not a bad parent if you spank your child. it isn't child abuse. not all kids are the same. some kids are very easy and some aren't.it drives me nuts when some are very free with thier advice and assume that all kids can and should be disciplined the same. it's a last resort but sometimes it has to be done. i know for a fact that even some police officers are fed up with the crap thats going on now. some kids are now calling the cops on their parents for a swat on the butt. it's crazy. a local deputy once told my kid's'; guess what? if mom and dad want to spank your butt, they can'; (my kids we're about 13%26amp;11 at the time.)i say, as long as it's with the hand, do what you need to do.
I hate spanking, but it's far better than no discipline at all. I like the idea of making kids do push-ups. In a few years, my husband (Army) will probably do just that!
It sounds like you've already decided spanking is okay. It is better not to spank but is a lot more work, as well as time-consuming. It takes patience to place a toddler in timeout 12 times instead of spanking. Be consistent. Spanking teaches a child that hitting is a solution. If you want them to join the military or be a bully, I guess that works.
it depends how old they r. if they r little kids like little 5 year olds or something like that it is appropriate because pain will make them think ';will i want to do that again'; but if their older like 13 taking privalleges away is way worse(trust me im 15).if they speak badly give them soap.
The solution isn't spanking, it's parenting. Time outs are a great form of parenting, however most parents give in way too easily, or don't do them at all, they merely tell their kid that they're bad, and I'm sorry but negative attention is still attention, kids don't understand.
They could also make them do pushups, that seems logical.
However spanking does nothing, you're taking your frustration out on your kid. Also when the kids grow up they'll have spanking fetishes, which you can see by the prevalence of spanking fetishes in areas where spanking is still done by parents and schools, versus places where it doesn't happen. I mean seriously let your kids develop sexually on their own, rather than when they jerk off with a sore *** and get associative behaviour ingrained in their being.
So spanking is a terrible option, it's nothing more than a frustrated parent not doing their job yet again. It didn't work before(lets face it the boomers were screwed up too and a lot of them got spanked), instead we need parenting. We need a way to teach people how to parent well, and how to show their kids boundaries so that the kids can stop seeking them.
We need parental education, to show sperm and egg donors how to raise a child and be a father and mother.
Not necessarily, as long as it is NEVER EVER meted out when angry. My 10 year old son has only been spanked about 5 times in his life, and those were after there was a series of events, consequences, leading up to the spanking.
Don't threaten to spank, or any other form of punishment, and then not follow through.
When my son broke a serious safety or respect rule, he was given the opportunity to explain himself, had to write a note to illustrate that he understood what he did. Then he was given a warning, if it happened again then this privelege would be taken away for this amount of time. If it happened after that next punishment, he would be spanked.
Spankings are then handled as a HUGE event, with him having to come into the living room, getting a swat on the bare bottom. The build up to the actual spanking is worse than the hit itself; he knows we will not spank except in very few circumstances and he avoids them nearly always (it has been 2 years since the last occurence). At 10, I think we are beyond spanking so we will take away team sports events instead. But the spanking is an effective tool if used very sparingly and only when fairly forewarned.
And ALWAYS follow a spank with a hug and a brief talk about how you love him/her and don't want to spank again, repeat the rule broken and have him/her promise to not break that rule again.
NO. NOT AT ALL. and do not listen to any one who says different
You sound like you've already made up your mind on the issue, but I do not think spanking (done properly) is child abuse. I have heard the argument that spanking doesn't work because you have to spank more and more. In my case it was EXACTLY the opposite. I spanked a couple of times when my daughter was little and was CONSISTENT about it (not just spanking her when I got mad - but using it as a last resort punishment in a series of steps). She hasn't had to be spanked in years and years and is a very well-behaved young lady. Good luck (and BE CONSISTENT!) :)
By all means spank if necessary. Do not abuse. Spare the rod, spoil the child.
';A spank is nothing more than push ups to a soldier,..'; are you kidding me?
You wanna make your kid run laps, climb walls, do pushups, go ahead. But do not for one moment insult us by assuming that we are all so ignorant and blind as to believe that excercise is remotely similar to hitting/spanking your child.
Give me a break.
You do not see managers ';spank'; their employees for poor behavior, you do not see the military ';spanking'; soldiers, and when a spouse ';spanks'; another spouse as a form of discipline it's DOMESTIC ABUSE. So why is it okay to do it to children? I just don't get that.
Spanking should never be used as a first option, But if all else fails then you have to do some thing don't you.
I don't see any thing wrong with a spanking.
discipline works in levels and you teach your child by using every level to obey your laws first of all, and the laws of the land.
Most countries have different levels of punishment for those who bend the law and so should parents.
NO YOU ARE A BAD PARENT IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO (in my opinion) spanking is a very thin line legally. the police say it is legal but DCS says it is child abuse you need to be very careful treading that line. I believe spanking is a necessary evil to properly raise a child into a responsible productive member of society. if you choose to spank always remember on the bottom only and no more than 3 swats with your hand oh and don't hit while you are angry ( these are all dcs rules where i live)
That's what the producers of supernanny want you to think, then they get a new episode.
The bible says not ot spare the rod of discipline. Could his just be 'figurative' as discipline in general? Well, I was spanked. I'm not mean and sadistic. I respect authority, I pay my bills, I'm not a man-whore, I don't smoke or do drugs. I'm not abusive to my wife.
People who say spanking leads to all those things are just making excuses for their own shortcomings.
As long as you do it with love and understanding that they are little people who'll one day choose your nursing home.
whack away!
No, I always spanked my kids, but only when needed, and I done it out of love.
NO and I repeat NO you are by no means a bad parent. kids today are so disrespectful. I mean when i was growing up my mom hit me but not my step dad. He refused to hit a girl. I had to babysit these two 6 y.olds. They can be so bratty and when the one kid didn't get what she wanted she started flipping out. Her mum asked us what she should do. We told her, hit her. Mum didn't believe in it. When her mum left I told her straight up, kid you know my mum would have spanked me for what you just did. And I talked to her lk an adult I said don't you do this again, i mean it. so you really have to be tough with them and I mean, they are kids, your smarter than they are, so act it.
I totally agree.You don't have to kill the kid or beat him...a simple tap on the rear or hand isn't going to kill them. Everyone's views are diff. on this, but I grew up getting my a*s tore up. I am just fine.
As long as you don't beat the kid I don't understand this whole thing. All the people making these laws majority of them had to have grown up in a home that spanked. Back then it was considered ';okay';. Now its abuse. The times are diff. in so many ways and look at the violence and bs going down.
Its ridiculous that a parent cant make the decision now-a-days on whether to spank their own kids or not. Its sad to me!
Personally, I wish I would have raised my children back in a simpler time.
I agree. Solution: spank people that think its child abuse.
Honestly I don't know either. I agree with you 100 percent. I do believe in spanking a child, not beating but spanking. AND YES...THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. I know there are going to be many comments from those out there ridiculing this method of punishment, but it does work. When I was a child I didn't back talk, I wasn't disrespectful, and I did well in school. Now, all people have are excuses with NO consequences for their child's actions. Children learn this, after all if they know they can get away with something they will continue to do it. And what happens as they grow up...with no consequence their behavior becomes more and more severe. All these people THINK that they do know is that spanking is bad, but they have no alternative that actually works. Years ago when it was acceptable we didn't have near as many problems out of children that we have today.
no
Personally I don't believe in spanking a child because its just like teaching them a form of violence or teaching them that its okay to hit someone.
Thats not cool.
